It's already past midnight, so. (revised: i am in this fast food chain in the heart of jakarta. alone. contemplating what time should i go home.) (2nd revision: i went home at 9 pm)
Writing is, honestly, my personal way to
heal some unhealthy and messy mind. Sometimes, it would come to the point where
i need to take a pill (it's paramex guys, chill) to release the pain so that i
could sleep directly without having to stay awake through those rough nights. I
honestly cannot say things as literal as possible here. Things would get messy
and i am the type of people to avoid conflict as i possibly can. Conflicts
exhaust the hell out of you and (sometimes) it's just not worth any second of
your 24 hours, which is just not enough already. Conflicts with people, i can
avoid. But, what do i do when the only villain is the other side of my brain,
contemplating everything i might have done wrong in the past. Was this decision
worth every tears and food i wasn't tempted to eat anyway...
Long story yet so short, i went to my
usual french course place with le, at 8 pm just because we wanted to smoke the
boredom away and drink two cans of beer with no alcohol in it (cause apparently it is illegal here,
somehow, idk how) Watching a french movie was the initial plan, but, the
fun just can’t be initially planned, right? We ended up in this fried rice
stall by the street which costed me around 30k rupiah and that hella tasted
like heaven. We then strolled along Sabang street, wondering what these
tourists were thinking while walking in this messed-up-third-world-country’s
pedestrian walk. One guy was looking at mangosteen stall, probably wondering
what kind of food is this well-rounded brown thing—resembling sh*t like. Two
women, speaking in foreign language that sounded as foreign as it sounded to me
(what?), were following us while
crossing the street. Our best guess was they were not sure when and where to
cross the street. It was behind Sarinah building so you could probably guess
how crowded and messed up that was. Thanks to us two, born and raised for 21/22
years in this humid-hot-crowded- town. But, the highlight of the night was
definitely these two bules, casually
strolling the busway path and trying to get into the bus stop by the automatic
door. It was just tourist casually being tourist, made me wondering to myself,
did i ever seem like that while i was alone in Japan – and always lost in
translation.
Then we walked a bit and sat on bench by
the street. It might sound like a normal date but it is definitely not something
you and your date would do if you guys reside in Jakarta. You know, the whole
‘going-to-the-mall’ thing a.k.a normal date, gets tiring for me, personally.
Giving absolutely no f*ck to people passing by, staring at us like we were
distinct other creatures. It was nice, accompanied by two cans of non-alcohol
beer, a little bit of smokes, and laughter to the surprisingly good weather –
not too hot yet still got some wind to it. Watching cars passed by in a
lightning pace, we were sitting still in our own phase of peaceful freedom,
despite every circumstances surrounding us. But, i was and am thankful for
having such a thing to remember the next time i get a chance to pass by some
places you and i have built a memory at. Thank you for coming to me and let the
night be the only lonely one. Maybe, or must have we, built the torn building one by one, brick by brick.
- m
